How your dog knows you’re leaving

For your dog, car keys can predict a longer absence than you just walking away.

Because dogs notice patterns

Noticing patterns is a survival skill. This is how your dog comes to learn that certain actions predict an absence, and for many dogs with separation anxiety, that’s when the panic starts. 

Common patterns that are exciting for our dogs include:

• Putting on your shoes and picking up the leash = an outing

• Driving in the car in a certain direction = fun times somewhere

• Putting on the treat pouch = training time = snackos!

Patterns can also predict something our dogs find less than pleasant:

• Driving in the car in a different direction = a trip to the vet

• Nail clippers come out = potential ouch

• Our dog Daisy knows that when my husband and I are both in the kitchen, this predicts company. New people aren't her favorite thing in the world and can lead to anxious feelings.

Patterns = predeparture cues

For a dog with separation anxiety, the things you do before you leave the house are "predeparture cues," or PDQs. For many dogs seeing these PDQs is the point where their panic begins, as they associate the cues with being left alone.

Dogs are masters of creating mental flowcharts

Knowing that X is reliably followed by Y is a survival skill. This is how they know the difference between you putting on sneakers to take them for a walk vs. you putting on work shoes for a day out of the house. The first is a cause for elation; the second, for panic.

Think about everything you do when you go out without your dog:

• Showering and dressing in a certain outfit

• Putting on work shoes vs. hiking boots 

• Picking up a handbag, briefcase, or reusable shopping bags

• Packing lunch

• Opening the garage door or gate

• The chirp of the car door

• Locking the house door

• Depending on the season, add coats, hats, and boots

• Even saying "see you later, be good" to your dog

For most dogs with separation anxiety, these PDQs are when their panic response begins. You may notice your dog following you more as you gather items and begin to make your exit. You might notice heavier breathing (hyperventilation as your dog's panic response begins) or soft vocalizations.

How we manage PDQs in separation anxiety training

The starting place in separation anxiety training is to assess how your dog does in a regular absence, which a Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer like me views live, with the client leaving the house with all their regular PDQs. During this session I observe the dog and then call back the client before the dog panics.

During training, we begin with steps that don't include any PDQs. Depending on the dog's level of anxiety, these steps can be as simple as jiggling the front door handle.

Over time, we carefully fold in keys, shoes, bags, car chirps, brief exits that get longer, and so on.

Multiple peer-reviewed research studies show this method to be the most effective way to teach dogs it's safe to be alone.

What doesn't help at all

Seven years ago we worked with a Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer on our dog Petey's separation anxiety (he is fully recovered). However, before reaching out to a CSAT, we tried a series of home remedies we found on the Internet.

This included trying to desensitize Petey to our PDQs. We picked up our car keys and put our coats on and off dozens of times throughout the day, for weeks, in an attempt to teach Petey that the keys or coat didn't predict anything scary for him.

The reason this didn’t work is because it's the combination of keys, coat, shoes, and so on coupled with the exit out the door that  generates a panic response in a dog with separation anxiety.

We wasted a lot of time and energy, as well as had considerable disharmony in our home as Petey continued to be destructive in his panic. Fortunately, we found real help, and now can leave him alone with no problem.